Saturday, July 6, 2013

Welcome to Holland

WELCOME TO HOLLAND




by


Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland



Yeah, Holland is pretty beautiful....

2 comments:

  1. When I heard about Hudson, I wanted to share this with you. I remember reading it when Romy was little and it brought so much comfort for some reason. I'm glad you found it. I know how rough the NICU and the special needs world can be, although Romy never had heart issues and I can't even imagine what that's like for you guys. Romy and I pray for Hudson every night before she goes to bed! He's absolutely beautiful, Dionna. Beautiful and PERFECT.

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  2. It's really the perfect analogy! It was really easy to relate to. I am so appreciative to have had Rome in our life before this..It gave me the knowledge that the special needs world wasn't as scary as I thought it was. She totally melted my heart and opened it up, unknowingly helping me prepare for my Huddy bud. So thank you for that :)

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