Friday, January 29, 2010

She took my hand and stole my heart

Mommy's favorite girl.

Week 2

I am the mother of a 2 week's unreal. I must admit I never had the bond with Em when she was in my belly...I loved her, and enjoyed feeling her move and talking to her, but I didn't even want to name her till after she was born. And still even though I loved her to pieces it wasn't till the day after she was born that I looked at her and felt the overwhelming wave of finally you're're safe...nothing went wrong...and you're mine forever. I at that moment realized I loved her more than I loved myself. Which is saying alot..I am a selfish lady and usually don't take other peoples feelings into consideration..just expect everyone to conform and harmonize with the way I think/feel. Having Emmy has humbled me for sure. I look at her face which is so much like mine and wonder how anyone could walk away from such a wonderful feeling. How is it that children can go years without seeing a parent or never meeting them for that matter(the story of my biological father, which we won't get into at the moment).
She is my everything now...I fall asleep for too long and wake up missing her..and I wouldn't give it up or complain about it for a minute. I love every second even when she poops on the changing table just as I'm swapping diapers, or when she's fussy because she just wants to be held. I soak it all in and even though I look forward to her first of school.. I hate the fact that one day she will grow up and to be an angry, evil teenager that hates me and the world!
I love taking pics of my nugget! It's my new I know why the mom on little people big world is always snapping pictures, it used to annoy me but now I totally get it!

Emmy and Daddy ...Oh so cute...everyone needs a pic like this!

First time in her bouncy chair.

Emmy and her many bows =)
First walk in her stroller..
Mommy and Emmy

Week 1

The car ride home was a painful one, but we made it and I managed to snap a picture of Em and she was smiling, as if to say I'm soooooo happy to be going home! I was glad she shared in my joy of that day(I refuse to believe it was b/c she had gas!). Her first week home was almost perfect, she is the most well behaved baby I could ask for. I just can't seem to put her down though, I'm teetering on the edge of an unhealthy obsession for my daughter. I don't want anyone else to hold's kinda creepy. But then again I think about it like I carried her in my womb for 10 months, and now you want me to part with her? ya right! I thought kids and dogs were supposed to suffer from separation anxiety not adults.
My appt to remove my staples was on Thursday, less than a week after the surgery. My blood pressure was sky high 157/112..wowzers! Before and during my pregnancy I always maintained a very healthy BP. Heck my 41st week I was 117/78 and I was retaining water like crazy. My feet looked like bloated, submerged dead hippo hoof's and I had sock indention's on my ankles too. Anyways a normal bp for me is around 112/mid 60's-low 70's. So the increase was ridiculous. I was put on some medication to help bring it down and had to take my own readings at home twice a day. I think the stress of everyone wanting to touch and hold her was too much for me. I hadn't even gotten to know her yet myself...and I didn't want to share. How selfish of me right? oh well. Dr asked me if I was stressing out....I lied and said NOPE! They just think it's all the extra blood and fluids still in my body and the trauma of the surgery so hopefully it will go down. If it doesn't get better I suppose I will have to fess up.
Emerson changes everyday, I can't believe how much she looks like me...that makes me happiest ;)

Her happy car ride home!

Just hanging out...

First bath!

Last Day at the Hospital

Well the day has finally come when I get to take my girl home and start my life as a mom. It was one of the most exciting/scary/physically painful days ever. I woke up and they said that the pediatrician ok'd her to be discharged as long as I was ok'd by my doctor we could be out by 1pm. YAY! Well at around 10:30 my doctor gave me the all clear to head home, so we didn't have to even wait till 1. I got Emerson dressed and ready to go, all while trying to process the fact that I was really finally after 5 long days going home. She was such a good baby she barely cried the 2 night's in the hospital. The pediatrician even made it a point to say how well behaved she was compared to all the other tumultous little nuggets. I did have some issues breast feeding so she did cry when she was hungry..I felt so bad I had to give in and started feeding her with a syringe. A day of that and she still wasn't eating enough so I was forced to give her a bottle, she was down to 7lbs.7oz. After we made that choice she wanted nothing to do with nursing. BUT The important thing was doing what was best for her. I decided to just pump for her instead, at least she will still get the good stuff!

FINALLY..1/15/2010- The Happiest Day of My Life!

Emerson Mckenli Moore
7lbs. 13oz. and
21 1/4 in. of

I went in for induction on 1/13/10 at 11:00am I was at exactly 41 weeks. We got checked in and finally started with cervadil at 2pm for a 12 hour round. After that we then had the round of Pitocin start at 2am..I still had no progress. They decided to bump up the level past the normal high and do another round. I had been 3cm 80% effaced for over 3 weeks. So in the middle of day 2 we started over with another round of pitocin. This time labor started to progress but by this time we were on day 3, and contractions were getting stronger. So I got some pain medication via my IV, the nurse said when the IV meds aren't enough to manage the pain that's when you know you are making more progress. I went from bawling my eyes out in my pillow while Shane rubbed my back to feeling like the nicest person in the world, modern medicine is AMAZING! Well I was checked again and finally at 5cm, so I was able to have an epidural.Which was totally not as bad as it looks(we had to watch a video)or sounds..he says its going to feel like a bee sting and that's exactly what it felt like..personally I will take a bee sting over contraction pains any day!
All was good in the world again and I just layed about for a few hours. Checked again and now at 8cm and my water had broke, I just didn't know it since I was numb from belly button down. A few minutes later Emmy's heart rate dropped.. twice for over 5 min each time so they inserted an internal monitor to make sure they were picking up an accurate reading.
About 30 min later I was fully dilated and effaced so my doctor opted to have me try and push(I had already been in the hospital 3 days with no food allowed)so I had no energy at all. I tried to push and it just didn't feel natural, I'm not sure if it was because of the epidural or because she was still very high and wasn't coming down. But her heart rate dropped again, how nerve racking that go from one nurse in your room to everyone on the floor running in at the same..scary stuff! With a few pushes the doctor said my pelvis was too small for her to fit or she was just too big, or possibly both. He grabbed my stomach where she was laying and said "I bet she's about 9lb 5oz. He said I know it has been a long process, we can either have you try to push a few more hours and see if we can make more progress ...OR, and I immediately said OR! Knowing that he was going to offer me a c-section, hey it wasn't my first choice but I was sooo exhausted at this point I just needed to be done with it all. So we went in for the c- section, I was strapped down...Shane had come in after I was opened and let's just say I felt more than I was supposed to. It was extremely uncomfortable. I just kept thinking about all the baby stories I watched on TLC and said none of those ladies winced and moaned in pain sooo why am I?! The anesthesiologist finally said do you want something to help relax. Of course I obliged, but whatever he gave me practically knocked me out.She was finally out. I was trying so hard to be coherent enough to take in her first cries, which was the most beautiful garbled noise on earth. I asked if she had all of her things(the drugs talking I couldn't think hard enough to say fingers & toes), I asked how much she weighed, and according to my husband I asked that about 6 more times. Then I was off to recovery. Why they call it recovery is beyond me.. pushing on my stomach every 15 minutes was TORTURE. That was the worst part of everything for me. The pain meds wore off and I felt all of each push and thought every 15 minutes came entirely too fast! I just wanted to see her so bad, after recovery I was put in my room and counted down the hour before I was able to hold my girl. With my husband's love we created her and I thank him for making me a mommy to this gorgeous little girl. He had to do so much for us after the c-section. More than even I would want to do for someone, and he was there ready and willing to do whatever I needed. He is my favorite and I couldn't have made it without him. <3

Every second of the 5 days we were there was completely worth it. I absolutely adore my perfect little girl :)

1/13/2010- Induction Day!

I was in this room for 3 days....My induction was a looooong one...which ended in a c-section. My co-pilot/husband in his ohhh so comfy bed/chair.
My throne/torture device/bed I was trapped in..and the moniter showing contractions of mine and all the other women on the have no idea how many people I saw come and was outrageous. I didn't think my turn was ever going to come.

This was my last belly pic taken even though I was pregnant for another 2 days. I was can see my belly peeking out from the bottom of the shirt I was wearing. Extremely uncomfortable at 41 weeks. UGH!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

39-40-41 Weeks

Hello Pretty Girl!

Ultrasound at 37 weeks I love ultrasound days. her estimated weight 7.8-8.8 aka BIG BABY!

32-35 Weeks

Playing catch up!

31 Weeks 2 Days!