Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Dear Shane.....

I know the day is steadily approaching..that day you will make the first of many sacrifices for your family and your country. You are going to leave behind all that you have ever known for weeks of physical and mental strain..only to be rewarded with another 7 months of time away from us.
It seems so far away but I know July 19th will soon be our tomorrow, and I can't help but think about a million different things. I am totally being selfish when I think "what am I going to do without you?". What will my days be like without my best friend, my biggest fan, my daughters father, my husband? I can only imagine what's been on your mind. I keep a straight face when we talk about it...Its not fair to burden you with more stress..but the truth is underneath this cool, calm and collected woman's demeanor, her heart is breaking a little more everyday. How am I going to do this by myself? I know our family is here, so that brings me some comfort....but no one can replace you. No one will be sleeping beside me Indian style, poking me with their knees...rolling around mumbling things that make no sense..and kissing my forehead before they roll out of bed.
I know how much you love us....and I hope you know how much we love you, and appreciate you. We are the luckiest little family in the world with you in it.
I know with this change I have to do my part to support you...it would hurt your heart too much to know how I feel...So out of respect for this decision we made together I will only write these fears and never tell you..I am having doubts that I can run a successful household without you. I am nervous I will forget to pay a bill, afraid our daughter won't remember what it's like to play with you, scared of how lonely I am going to be, and absolutely terrified that one day you may not come home. That being said......
I am so incredibly proud of you and hope the next 12 months go quickly. I already can't wait to have you home again...you are now a real life hero, like so many other soldiers serving. Thank you for being you and for loving me.

-Your forever grateful wife

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