Monday, September 5, 2011

Day 60

Dear Shane,

    It has been 60 days since the last time I kissed your face, held your hand, or saw your smile. I truly can't say enough how proud I am of you...but I will confess (and swallow my own pride) and say that I am all but falling apart without you. After I put our sweet little lady to bed...the night comes, bringing with it the darkness of loneliness. I have nothing but time to sit alone and think...... Think about how much I miss you...and how our daughter has started desperately calling every person she sees daddy... like she's searching for you every where we go...hoping that someone answer's her back in your voice. I don't know how much longer she can last, or how many times I can pull myself together enough say " No love, Daddy is working...remember?" It is obvious that we are more than ready for you to come home. Getting through the next 8 months is going to be one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.
   I am tired of feeling like my chest is going to explode with sadness. All of my friends have all but disappeared, I feel totally alone. Without you, my biggest fan, I have no one to fall back one to sleep next one to share with and appreciate all the silly things Emerson one to make fun of me...and share laughs with. I battle every night to keep it together when all's I want to do is stop fighting the tears that are welling and just let myself unravel.

I MISS YOU. That is all.

1 comment:

  1. Aw, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. I can not imagine how much you two miss him. I hope you know that they are ladies out there that are here whenever you need us to be. :)