Let's rewind back to 2/14/2012

And pretend I posted this then!

It was Emerson's very first holiday ever..and this year was her third time celebrating. She has changed so much in the last 2 years..it's amazing to compare.

2010

2011

I always make it a point to celebrate every holiday with her. No matter how small  or how young she is I always make a big deal out of them, like some crazy lady whipping up heart shaped pancakes, and taking the time to cut <3 strawberries..you know the type!

 It was a little bit different this year since it was our first Valentines Day without Daddy. That was a little rough for me. Considering it was the first heart day we have been apart. Well that ..and add in the fact that 4 years ago on 2/14 we sat around a hibachi grill as he placed an open ring box in front of me just as I was turning around. I'll be the first to admit how cliche' that date is to get engaged...however it is mine, so I must own it!

So Em and I made sure we thought of Daddy and sent him this :

 

I have just as much  more fun than she does celebrating. Annd I really hope I can pass that love I have for every holiday on to her. They sure do make some super sweet memories.

As Emer would say the chalk-rit(chocolate) and yayi-pops(lollipops) we're total hits. She couldn't wait another second to tear into the wrapper, and I couldn't tell which one she loved more. We made the most out of our day together and I am grateful I was able to share it with my little love bug.

Dear Shane

We are three months shy of a year apart. I'm not sure if I am happy we made it this far or sad that it's been so long and we still aren't back together.
I'm trying.
 I try everyday to suck up the "I'm missing yous". But it's always there waiting... for a quiet moment when I am alone...hiding in every one of our daughters smiles...staring me in the face when we go out..I can't escape it.
I need this to be over. I don't think I was prepared for this sacrifice. I knew it would be a process..but I figured six months tops. What's six months to change our lives forever? I can't explain to anyone the feeling...the anticipation...the heartache...the toll this is taking on me. I can't wait to have our family back together. I.can't.wait. Words just don't do the emotion justice. The heaviness in your chest, that sinking feeling that has you ready to hurl...the symptoms that your heart is breaking.
What's most difficult is not having a date....no countdown..nothing to look forward to...no relief in sight..we are just stuck here in this torturous limbo. The uncertainty of our future has me ready to raise my white flag..but I know I can't. You can't give up.... so neither can I.
 I am so ready for this separation to be a memory. Until then I can only keep the hope. The hope that our sacrifices are appreciated, worth something, and that they will eventually pay off.

I love you. I miss you. I'm searching for strength. Please come home soon.
Dionna

Dear Shane.....

I know the day is steadily approaching..that day you will make the first of many sacrifices for your family and your country. You are going to leave behind all that you have ever known for weeks of physical and mental strain..only to be rewarded with another 7 months of time away from us.
It seems so far away but I know July 19th will soon be our tomorrow, and I can't help but think about a million different things. I am totally being selfish when I think "what am I going to do without you?". What will my days be like without my best friend, my biggest fan, my daughters father, my husband? I can only imagine what's been on your mind. I keep a straight face when we talk about it...Its not fair to burden you with more stress..but the truth is underneath this cool, calm and collected woman's demeanor, her heart is breaking a little more everyday. How am I going to do this by myself? I know our family is here, so that brings me some comfort....but no one can replace you. No one will be sleeping beside me Indian style, poking me with their knees...rolling around mumbling things that make no sense..and kissing my forehead before they roll out of bed.
I know how much you love us....and I hope you know how much we love you, and appreciate you. We are the luckiest little family in the world with you in it.
I know with this change I have to do my part to support you...it would hurt your heart too much to know how I feel...So out of respect for this decision we made together I will only write these fears and never tell you..I am having doubts that I can run a successful household without you. I am nervous I will forget to pay a bill, afraid our daughter won't remember what it's like to play with you, scared of how lonely I am going to be, and absolutely terrified that one day you may not come home. That being said......
I am so incredibly proud of you and hope the next 12 months go quickly. I already can't wait to have you home again...you are now a real life hero, like so many other soldiers serving. Thank you for being you and for loving me.

XoXo
-Your forever grateful wife